Between blogging and being a blogger

So should I call myself a blogger if this is the first time I have written on a blog , or is it in a blog, and we all know that blogging has been around for quite awhile. I hate being one of the thousands that are catching on late and pretending like we know what is up.

I am just another stay at home mom that needs her voice heard over the crying baby. I am vowing not to tell you what color his poop is or even how many times I heard him laugh today and thought that it must be the greatest sound on earth. I want to be heard on topics that really matter outside the nursery walls; politics, sex, theology. I want to be smart and worldly and spell everything right. If you know me at all you know I will never spell everything right. I so bad at it in fact that spellcheck can't even give me suggestions. and I won't always sound smart and worldly either but I will be honest.

And if that is true and honesty is what I am striving for than you should know that I love being a wife and mother but sometimes feel alone and stifled by it. I think it is best to be home and raise my kids but am jealous at times when James leaves for work. I wanted to breastfeed more than anything but am jealous when my sister in law can leave without a pump to go out with her husband. I like the idea of writing a blog but am jealous of those that can call themselves bloggers and mean it. I think I live my life in these places between joy and jealously. I think we all do. But today I will lean towards joy if for no other reason than that I can spell it.